Interview with a Transgender Man
Meet Locke, a transgender man who shares his struggles upon coming out.
What do you identify as?
I'm FTM (female to male) transgender, as well as bi.
How old were you when you realized you were transgender? How did you discover it?
I was technically 13, but I've known for a while. I merely came out at that age. And I discovered it in a way many would call odd, but I first told people that I was Agender, and I decided they/them pronouns just weren't cutting it. After a while of feeling dysphoric with those pronouns, I finally found out that he/him pronouns were much better. I decided that being trans made more sense to me.
Who have you come out to?
I'm out to most of my school and my parents, but otherwise I'm fairly closeted around the other portion of my family, as I know for sure they most likely won't like it.
Did you find it hard to motivate yourself to come out?
In some ways, I did find it difficult. I was different, and before I did come out, I just felt out of place. Until I was about 11 I didn't even know that being trans was real. I thought that I'd have to stay closeted, but I realized there were other people like me. In early 7th grade, I finally started changing my clothes, wearing androgynous clothing, wearing hats, and hiding my hair. This gave me a bit more confidence and I began coming out to people as something that was a little off from what I identify as now.
Did you face homophobia when you came out? How did you deal with it? Did you have to explain your identity to anyone?
When I came out to my mom, at first she didn't think that I was being serious. In her words, "I was hoping you forgot about being...whatever you are." Her saying this only caused me to b more flamboyant with my gender expression. I definitely had to explain my sexuality to my mom though. She didn't think I was old enough to be able to know my sexuality yet, at 12, but that's when most people hit puberty, if not earlier, and it's a perfectly capable age.
Was it difficult for your friends to come to terms with your new identity, and become used to using new pronouns?
Definitely. My best friend called me a mix between my birth name and my real name for a while, and struggled to understand my pronouns for the first few months, but soon got used to it. My parents don't much care for me being trans, and still call me by my birth name. But because I'm quite easygoing I don't really say much, just push it off and hope and plead that one day they'll come to terms.
What's the difference between being a tomboy and being transgender?
Being transgender is big. It provides dysphoria and not just being intolerant with long hair because it gets in your face. Or wearing shorts that are from the boys' department because they're more comfy. Being transgender provides much more agonizing depression, paired with a lot of dysphoria, and to top it off, you never feel good about yourself. Most people that are tomboys may cut their hair and all, but people that are trans have it much worse. Both have right to what they're doing, both may gravitate toward certain things, but tomboys are still girls in their mind, and trans people are still the opposite of their biological gender.
What advice would you give to someone who thinks they may have a similar identity or the same identity as you?
Just be yourself. Trust me. It does wonders. Don't let other people throw you down because you're different. We're all human. But if you can't be yourself, because it's dangerous in any form, just be safe.
What do you identify as?
I'm FTM (female to male) transgender, as well as bi.
How old were you when you realized you were transgender? How did you discover it?
I was technically 13, but I've known for a while. I merely came out at that age. And I discovered it in a way many would call odd, but I first told people that I was Agender, and I decided they/them pronouns just weren't cutting it. After a while of feeling dysphoric with those pronouns, I finally found out that he/him pronouns were much better. I decided that being trans made more sense to me.
Who have you come out to?
I'm out to most of my school and my parents, but otherwise I'm fairly closeted around the other portion of my family, as I know for sure they most likely won't like it.
Did you find it hard to motivate yourself to come out?
In some ways, I did find it difficult. I was different, and before I did come out, I just felt out of place. Until I was about 11 I didn't even know that being trans was real. I thought that I'd have to stay closeted, but I realized there were other people like me. In early 7th grade, I finally started changing my clothes, wearing androgynous clothing, wearing hats, and hiding my hair. This gave me a bit more confidence and I began coming out to people as something that was a little off from what I identify as now.
Did you face homophobia when you came out? How did you deal with it? Did you have to explain your identity to anyone?
When I came out to my mom, at first she didn't think that I was being serious. In her words, "I was hoping you forgot about being...whatever you are." Her saying this only caused me to b more flamboyant with my gender expression. I definitely had to explain my sexuality to my mom though. She didn't think I was old enough to be able to know my sexuality yet, at 12, but that's when most people hit puberty, if not earlier, and it's a perfectly capable age.
Was it difficult for your friends to come to terms with your new identity, and become used to using new pronouns?
Definitely. My best friend called me a mix between my birth name and my real name for a while, and struggled to understand my pronouns for the first few months, but soon got used to it. My parents don't much care for me being trans, and still call me by my birth name. But because I'm quite easygoing I don't really say much, just push it off and hope and plead that one day they'll come to terms.
What's the difference between being a tomboy and being transgender?
Being transgender is big. It provides dysphoria and not just being intolerant with long hair because it gets in your face. Or wearing shorts that are from the boys' department because they're more comfy. Being transgender provides much more agonizing depression, paired with a lot of dysphoria, and to top it off, you never feel good about yourself. Most people that are tomboys may cut their hair and all, but people that are trans have it much worse. Both have right to what they're doing, both may gravitate toward certain things, but tomboys are still girls in their mind, and trans people are still the opposite of their biological gender.
What advice would you give to someone who thinks they may have a similar identity or the same identity as you?
Just be yourself. Trust me. It does wonders. Don't let other people throw you down because you're different. We're all human. But if you can't be yourself, because it's dangerous in any form, just be safe.
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